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starkweek:

jesus, take the wheel. now put it in first - no, put the clutch in and - jesus, what the fuck, you said you could drive stick

spermbanker:

seattle man. a local hero.

spermbanker:

seattle man. a local hero.

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

I cared once. Fucked me up.
(via phuckindope)
Nails did as fuck! Also my hair is a mess.

Nails did as fuck! Also my hair is a mess.

inverted-typo:

thenimbus:

Cat Burger

Relevant and necessary

stevenfresco:

i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented i forgot where i was going with this

poryqon:

if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you

dankotaxvx:

hey mom my friends are here, ill be back later

dankotaxvx:

hey mom my friends are here, ill be back later

ariaste:

unamusedsloth:

Exercise caution, especially with things labeled “fresh” pizza

I dunno, I’m most worried about “stairs”

hana-isah:

earthandanimals:

Red Fox asbimages.co.uk

Foxy
phoenix-fires:

hail the wiggler

phoenix-fires:

hail the wiggler

spenceromg:

do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while

bboliver:

#dead

bboliver:

#dead